Tuesday, April 22, 2003
I had a dream last night that Brad Pitt was posing butt naked for Playgirl magazine. I wanted a copy of it, and my friend Brad (who is so not gay at all!) told me, "I get a subscription, and I just throw it away. I don't know who sent it to me, but it's gross. If you want it, I'll save the issue for you."
Anyway when I went to open the centerfold, I woke up .
Monday, April 21, 2003
Well I haven't posted for awhile but I had such a strange dream I had to write about it. It was all in German (and in black and white), first of all. I dreamed Adolf Hitler had won the war, and was ruler of Europe. He wanted to invade Iraq, and I was one of his top Nazi advisors. The Nazi Party headquarters was disguised as a Casino, so that no one could blow it up. Most everyone lived underground, however because Hitler decided it would be better because there wouldn't be any people in the buildings if anyone blew them up. Anyway, as a result of Hitler winning the war, technology as we know it today didn't exist. The elevators in the casino were nothing more than a birdcage type thing suspended on a chain, that worked kind of like a ski lift--you shut the door and pulled the chain and it went down below the earth. The other Nazi advisors were really mad at me because I had never been in combat (I had, but had never been injured), and had voted (in a secret meeting they didn't tell me about) to have me in the "morter" position in the battle, because that person was always killed first. I was supposed to be at this meeting (we always ate dinner together) but they changed the location of the meeting, and when I finally found it, they acted like I had deliberately not come to eat with them, but I told them I couldn't find the meeting and that I had tried...While trying to find the meeting I got in the elevator and went below the earth and found a room in the casino that was showing pornographic movies from Poland and Italy. The room was full of people all laughing at the movie.
When Adolf announced his decision (about whether I would go into battle or not), at the last minute he said, "I have decided she will not be in this battle," which enraged the other Nazi advisors, and they stormed at me trying to kill me. Most of them fell down on top of each other and started killing whoever they could get their hands on, so I ran, trying to escape. I ended up in my mom's front yard, and it was set on fire (along with her house), because the Nazi's were there and were trying to find me. There was some guy on his cell phone (go figure!) and when I told him I needed to get to France to escape, he told me to go away because he was making a call.
I buried my clothes because I was wearing a Nazi party uniform, and I knew it would be easier to spot me if I had them on, and then went and stole some clothes hanging on a clothesline that I found. What I didn't know was that Adolf knew I would do this, and the clothes I stole off of the clothesline were in fact more Nazi clothes, so I had no idea I was still "flagged" so to speak. I ran down the street trying to escape and woke up at that point. I remember thinking, "gosh, that guy (meaning Hitler) was really sharp, no wonder he won the war..."
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