Dreams of the Everyday Hausfrau

I'm back baby!!!! I knew this "Dreamer's Block" couldn't last!!! Here goes... Last night the dream started like this. I was in the back of my mom's old car, a 1977 Chevrolet Caprice Classic, color: old geezer blue. There were two small black girls in the front seat, and I was in the back with a first grader who was somehow related to me, although I don't know how. Anyway the car was driving itself, and it was POURING down rain! We had just picked them up from school and needed to drop them off at home. We finally stopped in this neighborhood in front of these apartments. I got out of the car and pulled out the stroller (the two girls in the front rode in the stroller) and proceeded to put them in it and try to take them down the sidewalk. I say 'try' because the sidewalk was incredibly steep. It was almost a vertical drop where the sidewalk met the street. Anyway next thing I know I am at their front door, and I have dropped them off. I go back to the car, and as I am trying to walk up the sidewalk (the stroller has mysteriously disappeared), all of a sudden I am wearing these 6" high heels, and I can hardly get up the sidewalk. There was grass beside the sidewalk so I walked in there for some traction, and finally I reached the mailbox and was able to pull myself up by it. I got to the car, and the back door was open and the stroller was in the back seat. I shut the back door. I was looking for something (I don't know what) and this black and white miniature pug nosed dog from across the street came over and started barking at me. I had a bag full of rocks in my hand, so I hit him and he whimpered home. My relative was still in the back seat, so I decided to drive down the narrow sidewalk because it's pouring down rain. I started to drive down the sidewalk, and it turned into a steep, narrow, winding blacktop road that was surrounded by red mud. I finally negotiated the car down to her apartment, and when I got out of the car to put her in the house, I notice she lived in a BIG church. I had nowhere to turn the car around, so I drove in the church and turned it around there. I drove very carefully back up the sidewalk, and when I got on the road, I decided to drive to FL for vacation. I drove down Schillingers Road, and right before I got to Three Notch Kroner road, there was this big flea market on the side of the road. The woman who was running it was at least 976 years old. Her son and daugher-in-law were helping. Anyway as I was speeding, as I come up to this spectacle on the left hand side of the road, and there was a state trooper parked on the side of the road, which flipped me out because I didn't want to get a ticket. I decided to stop at the flea market so hopefully he wouldn't give me a one [ticket](turns out the car was empty). I pulled off the left side of the road (the weather turned really beautiful by the way, sunny, and seventy degrees) so I did a 360 in this mud parking lot, and the red dust was flying everywhere, in order to slow the car down (I was driving really fast). I got out and started looking at the stuff. It was all retro/antique stuff, but it was all junk basically, and the prices were unreal! I looked at this ratty Christmas tree, where she's got Christmas ornaments for sale, and she had this 2" stained glass ornament that was a cutout of the State of Alabama, it was in bad shape, and she wanted $412 for it! I looked around some more, and went over to price a bucket on the floor, when all of a sudden I was on the floor in a living room that had no furniture, just a huge white door with a built in doggie door. It was a farmhouse built in the 1800's that belonged to my friends Ron and Nancy. It had hardwood floors and white walls. Anyway Ron and I were sitting on the floor, and their dog Jane came in through the doggie door. Jane in real life is a Dalmation, but in my dream she was a German Shepherd. Anyway she STUNK to high heaven, so we made her go outside. Then I woke up.

So, here I was all excited last night. I have just started this "dream blog" and so I just knew I'd have another spectacular dream to report, and no. Nothing. Bupkus. I think I am having "Dreamer's Block" . I mean, I have really strange dreams all the time. I dreamed once (when I was 16) that I married a spaceship named Richard. What does that tell you? Also, my dreams tend to include either a) people I work with, or b) somebody famous. I had a GREAT dream one time about John Laraquette (from Night Court) but didn't write it down, so it's gone forever. Thus the purpose of this blog. I want to remember each and every strange dream I have.

Never fear. "Dreamer's Block" can't last forever, so keep checking back to see the strange yet wonderful world of my dreams!

# posted by Miss Chevious : 6:44 PM  0 Comments

I have strange dreams. Saturday night I dreamed that there was a paranormal universe, and if you wanted to go on vacation, for example if you lived in Dallas and wanted to vacation in Hawaii, well that was forbidden but you could go to this paranormal universe. I decided to go to the "Parun" as it is called, so the next thing I know I am driving around in this universe. The cops drove oranges, and when they wanted to pull you over for a driving offense, the orange lit up. I was doing about 300 MPH, and I noticed a lit orange in my rearview mirror. I didn't stop, and finally decided to return home, because even though we could visit the Parun, they couldn't visit us. I got through the portal, and somehow the orange followed me, and the cop arrested me. I was put in the Parun jail, which consisted of a big drawer with air holes in it. The cop pulled open the drawer, dropped me in, and left me to die. However, when I dropped in there, all of a sudden I was covered with candy bars, and there were sodas all around in the drawer, so I didn't starve or die of thirst, which was the idea. A week later they came back to check on me, and were quite upset that I was still alive. At this point I woke up.

I dreamed that I was dating Paulie Walnuts from "the Sopranos". We were in Huntsville, on Drake, headed to Brahan Spring Park, when we stopped at the redlight at Cobb. I looked over and my boss was in the car next to me. I was mortified! I knew if he saw me with this old geezer I'd never hear the end of it, so I ducked my head down in the car so he wouldn't see me. Paulie saw this and thought I was dating my boss as well (two timing Paulie no less) and he became furious! He followed Bernd (my boss) to a large complex that was a bowling alley/pool/card playing establishment. Paulie went in (Bernd was going to play cards) and whacked my boss, then left me standing there in the bowling alley. I didn't know how I was going to get home, so I went outside the bowling alley and started looking for a ride. I saw Joyce Thornton (a lady I used to work with) and she said she'd give me a ride home, but it was a long drive, and she's old as the hills, so I said no thanks. I didn't want to bother her. I went over to this dormatory to see if I could find a ride in there, and when I opened the door, it was full of milk, so I closed it. Then I turned around, and on the swing set, I saw three Steve Martins. One of them was the "Roxanne" Steve, with the big nose, a regular Steve, and a really tiny Steve. I asked for a ride but they said they had to go. They all shrunk right before me and were about two feet tall when they took off. Next Jon Bon Jovi walked up to me (with his band) and told me he'd give me a ride home if I photographed the band. I said sure, so we went to this overpass, and I took pictures. They were all grinning wildly in the pictures, and I told them to please stop looking so silly but they didn't stop. Then, we got in the car again, and as we were driving home, Richie Sambora and Jon were telling me about growing up in New Jersey, and playing baseball together as kids. Then the alarm woke me up.

I dreamed that I was dying on the side of the road, and two of my co-workers, Larry and Sid, stopped by to see what the problem was. When Larry saw it was me, he said "Aww, just let her die," so they got back in the truck and left.